Tipsy Much?
by Tajin966
Summary: A new recruit is added onto the Keroro Platoon and everyone loves her! She's loyal, a hard worker, and a friendly Keronian. But, why is she hanging out with Kururu so much? And no ones perfect... what's her secret?
1. Toxic Farts, A Perfect Plan

Tamama hummed a song to himself as he lounged on the small two seater couch, munching away on a bag of chips. Next to him sat commanding frog of the invasion on planet Pekopon, Keroro Gunsou, who was building a new gundam model. Across the room sat Kururu, typing away on his computer and at the table sat Dororo and Giroro who were drinking tea and discussing childhood memories. It was nice; the five of them have grown close during the "invasion" and have been through many hardships. Tamama laughed to himself quietly at the word invasion. It seemed like he and his platoon had been saving the world from destruction, not causing it. Peering into his bag of chips he sighed, empty.

"Gunsou-san?" Tamama turned his head to Keroro and smiled, extending his arm, holding out the empty bag he cocked his head to the side sweetly. "Can you get me a new bag of," he paused and scrunched his face up, "Wait," he murmured under his breath quietly, "I have to fart." Everyone looked at him in surprise as a small pop comes from Tamama. "Excuse me." He smiled again.

Giroro covered his mouth. "Ta-Tamama, how do your farts smell so bad?" He fell over on his back, hand still covering mouth.

Keroro jumped up from his gundam, "Tamama that's it!" He exclaimed, "You have just solved all of our problems!" He grabbed the Second Class Private between the shoulders and looked into the distance. "We will use your toxic farts..to take over Pekopon."

Tamama looked at his sergeant lovingly, as much as he loved to be held by him, his plan was absolutely terrible. "Ah, Gunsou-san, can you just get my chips?"

Keroro looked down and jumped off the couch, "Yes Private Tamama, I'll get you your chips." He mumbled under his breath as he walked over to the freezer, taking a step in and closing the door behind him.

Tamama heard Kururu begin to laugh and groaned. Why must that creep laugh at his pain?


	2. Commanders Great Statement of Joy

Keroro groaned to himself aloud as he grabbed a bag of chips for Tamama and began to head back to his room. Giroro and everyone else always told him he never tried to make an invasion plan, but his toxic fart idea was brilliant! All they needed to do was to get Tamama to fart about one million times then they could bottle up all the farts and release them all over Pekopon and then they would take over! He closed his eyes and imagined it all play out:

"Oh please no!" Natsumi plugged her nose and fell to the ground coughing, "Keroro, you are so smart and handsome and," Natsumi coughed once more from the toxic air, "Have the best invasion plans, won't you rule over me and the rest of the Pekoponians, I mean your slaves?"

Keroro smiled and skipped the rest of the way to his room, now that he got the rest of his plan figured out, they would totally agree with him and Pekopon and Natsumi would be under his control! He laughed to himself, "Gero, Gero, Geroi!"

As he walked past Kururu's lab he saw a steady light throb from out of the door. Looking over his shoulder he took a few steps back before entering the yellow frog's lab. The overly sized monitor had a star image covering almost the whole screen.

"A message from HQ?" Keroro murmured breathlessly. Could they have found out about their lack of invasion? Only one way to find out. Hitting the enter button on the key board a live chat began with the Keron Army leader.

"Aw, Keroro Gunsou, Sergeant Keroro, Leader Keroro, you have many names and so does your platoon." The commander beamed at Keroro friendly, the only reason he was so layed back was because Kiruru, an alien invader, was reprogrammed by Kururu to keep the commander and everyone else on Keron at a state where they didn't care if Pekopon got invaded or not.

Keroro shoved a hand behind his head nervously. The commander was indeed still in his state, but why was he checking on the Keroro's platoon for? "Thank you for the praise Commander," Keroro smiled. "And what do I owe this pleasure?"

The Commander's face turned gravely serious in an instant, "There is a new recruit," he begun. "That is absolutely superb and I was so impressed by its test scores at Keron Army Academy that I decided to add it into your division. Any objections, Keroro?"

"Uh," Keroro stammered before remembering who he was speaking to, "Of course commander." He saluted.

"Good. Good." The Commander murmured. "Then, Staff Sergeant Tajiji will arrive in a few hours."

"Uh, Commander?"

"Yes Sergeant Keroro, What is the problem?"

"Did you say Staff Sergeant?" Keroro stammered, "Staff Sergeant is a higher rank then me."

The commander rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Well, I guess your right Keroro" He smiled brightly, "Will that be a problem Sergeant?"

"No sir and sir may I be dismissed to tell my platoon of our new addition." Keroro's finger hovered over the Esc button, hopping to end the conversation soon.

"Of course, goodbye Sergeant Keroro and luck with you!" He smiled and ended the conversation.

Keroro sighed and walked out of the room, the day had been going so good. Well, he thought to himself, I guess we won't do the fart plan anytime soon.

Kururu turned his head to the side to see a pale faced leader stepping out of the fridge. What was his problem? He watched as Keroro throw the chips onto Tamama's lap and moves to stand in the center of the room. It looked like he was about to make an announcement. Might be interesting.

"Excuse me," Keroro spun around in a circle to address everyone. "It has come to my awareness that something new and exciting is going to happen to the happen to our platoon." When no one interrupted he continued on, "A new member will be added to our platoon."

Everyone stayed quiet in shock, before Dororo spoke up. "Eh? How do you know Keroro-kun?"

"I had a meeting with the Commander?

Dororo looked appalled and somewhat impressed, "How?"

"I was in Kururu's lab and there was a light and the commander wanted to chat, so" Keroro began before Kururu interrupted him.

"What the hell were you doing in my lab, leader?" Kururu barked furiously at Keroro.


	3. Tajiji Makes An Appearance

Everyone turned to look at Kururu confusedly, he never showed emotion. "What?" He looked at everyone defensively before remembering his façade; he blushed and put his hands to his cheeks, which turned a bright pink. "I'm just so embarrassed, it's just Giroro, he" Kururu removed one hand from his face and pawed the air, "I can't say it's just too embarrassing. Kukuku~."

Now, everyone turned to Giroro, who turned a deep, deep shade of red. "I don't know what he's talking about! Shouldn't we, uh, focus on our new platoon member?" He clenched both his fists, "Yes! Who is this new member?"

Keroro nodded and told everyone about what he and the Commander talked about less than an hour before. Kururu sat down at his laptop, fingers flying furiously over the board. As he did so he begun to spew information. "Tajiji, age thirty-two, purple with a silver cap, a sun insignia, Staff Sergeant, good grades," He readjusted his glasses, "Amazing grades actually 4.5 every school year, she's an excellent fighter, but she is known as an intelligence Officer like I am, and one last thing that Captain forgot to mention is," Kururu begun, but something began to appear on the table where Dororo and Giroro were sitting. Both sprung backwards and pulled out there weapons.

An unstable hologram shakes and stirs violently on the table. As the platoon stared they all knew the figure was Keronian. It slowly came into view it was Purple and wore a silver cap. It stopped moving and the platoon members could make out a sun insignia on the forehead and stomach of the Keronian, but the only thing off was…

Kururu stared at the Keronian for a moment, and then looked back down at his laptop. "Like I was saying before I was interrupted, the last thing that Captain forgot to mention to us is that Staff Sergeant Tajiji is a female Keronian." He looked at her once again, then diverted his focus back to his laptop. "A quite attractive one at that."

Tajiji looked around the room and smiled, "It's nice to meet such a decorated platoon." She bowed in the direction of the five other Keronians. "I'm excited to work with you five!"

Dororo extended a hand, "I am Dororo, a lance corporal of the Keron Army. After getting caught in a bear trap on here on Pekopon, I was rescued by Koyuki Azumaya Wishing to follow the way of the ninja; I changed my name from Zeroro to Dororo, after the forest where I was found. I spend most of my time training, meditating, reading, and doing nature-related works; I love all things to do with this planet. I am often forgotten by the rest of Keroro Platoon, causing my trauma switch to turn on, which usually leads to me to sit in a corner to cry, quietly reeling off many bad. Also, I will not participate in plans that are potentially harmful to people's feelings or nature. I desire to bring peace to Pekopon. I am ignored by the Keroro most of the time." He begun to ramble his life story, Tajiji, Keroro, Giroro, and Tamama watched him in awe.

Keroro let out a low whistle and Tajiji placed her hand in Dororo's gripping it lightly, "I know Dororo."

"Also, I hate butt cracker, but that was about this video all of us watched, wait." He looked at Tajiji, "You know?"

"Yeah, of course!" She looked at everyone in the room. "I had to do a little research on all of you, but nothing creepy, just minor stuff." She turned to Tamama, "You are Private Second Class Tamama, your aliases is Wakaba-1 , you are a tadpole, the youngest member of the Keroro Platoon, are extremely cute, but can pack a punch with your super attack TAMAMA IMPACT!" Tajiji blew on Tamama's face playfully imitating Tamama impact and Tamama giggled. Doing this with all the other platoon members she got similar results.

"And you are one of the top mobile infantry in all of the Keron Army," Tajiji finished her long description of Giroro and made a gun with her hands, "Boom!" Giroro grabbed his chest and pretended to be shot, laughing the whole time.

"You are an excellent friend and an amazing gundam builder, we should build gundam together!" She finished just like Giroro and waved her arms in the air excitedly and Keroro did the same.

Then, everyone's eyes searched for Kururu, but he was nowhere to be found. "What about Kururu?" Keroro whispered into Tajiji's ear as the purple Keronian turned red with embarrassment. "Uh, I'm really tired. Where will I sleep?" The four exchanged glances, before setting up a bed on the other side of Keroro's room and left her to sleep. It was 3:00 PM when they did this.

"What do you think of Tajiji, Keroro?" Giroro and Dororo stared at Keroro optimistically. Tamama had gone back to Momoka's saying he had to work on something and Kururu was still nowhere to seen.

"She sure is an attractive Keronian." Keroro mumbled under his breath leaning back in his chair.

"I wonder how she is in fighting and at an intellectual level." Dororo spoke his thoughts aloud and blushed, thinking it was an uncalled for thing to say.

"Yeah, I do too, Dororo." Keroro smiled, "Gero. Ger o. Gero." He smiled.

"I guess we'll see tomorrow." Giroro looked at the two, who nodded.


	4. PuPururu?

Several gun shots were fired in the small grey room and the circular target flew back from the impact. Wearing a pair grey earmuffs, matching her outfit, Tajiji smiled to herself. Cocking her gun once again she single handily shot the center of the target. Next to her Giroro stood in awe, this new member was quite the addition. At first he had his doubts, but she really came through.

Turning his gaze back to her he found the muzzle of a gun directed in the middle of his eyes. Tajiji smiled a wicked smile. "What would you do corporal?" She looked at him with her pale, grey eyes. "What would you do if I shot you here and now?"

"I wouldn't be able to do much now would I?" Giroro stared at her, unblinking. Why was he so unnervous? Here stood a highly trained army soldier, who he had barely met and unlike most times he was on the opposite side of a gun. Giroro mentally shook his head side to side, but dare not actually move. After all these factors, why wasn't he nervous?

Tajiji looked at him, for a moment and lowered the gun, sighing. "I guess that's true isn't it?" She tossed the gun to Giroro and winked. "Don't you end up on the other side of one of these again, I betcha the next opponent won't be as nice."

Giroro blushed as she walked out. Why had he just blushed? He didn't even know her. What about Natsumi? He rolled his eyes, what about Natsumi? It's not like they were dating or anything. His face turned a whole new shade of pink.

A low lock hit the blue ninja's door. Sliding it open stood a confused Koyuki standing in the door way. She looked the purple Keronian curiously. "Mois-dono, is that you?" She leaned over sniffing Tajiji, who went as stiff as a board. "No, you're not Mois-dono. Who are you?"

Tajiji shook her head regaining ability to move, saluting Koyuki she smiled. "Staff Sergeant Tajiji at your service Koyuki Azumaya, I am the newest member of the Keroro Platoon." Leaning passed Koyuki she looked into the house. "Is Dororo here?"

Koyuki smiled. "Aw! Your one of D's friends, I didn't know there was another one of you guys here. After Pururu and all, who left with Shurara or whatever." She pushed a hand behind her head and laughed subtly.

Tajiji stared at Koyuki for a moment, "Pu-Pururu? Who is Pururu?" A flash of something crossed Tajiji face, but she quickly covered it with her normal smiling figure.

Koyuki looked at Tajiji for a moment. "Pururu? She's, uh, one of Dororo's friends. She's pink and really nice and cute!" She looked past Tajiji dreamily. "Almost as cute as Natsumi."

Tajiji almost said something in response when, suddenly Dororo showed up at the door, pushing past Koyuki. Two cups of tea were in his hands. "Koyuki!" He shouted, "You should be at school, go, don't be late." Koyuki nodded, waved at Dororo and Tajiji and began to run through the forest. Dororo turned his attention to Tajiji, "Hello there, what do I owe the pleasure?"

Tajiji looked at Dororo for a moment. "I came here for some reason." She mumbled under her breath. "I am so sorry!" She shouted, "I have forgotten," taking one of the teas and chugging it she handed it back to Dororo and whipped her mouth. "I'm guessing that was for me? Thank you!" Bowing, she began to run through the forest, leaving Dororo to stare at the small cup, pondering to himself, did I do something wrong?

Tajiji ran through the forest feverishly. When she was told to accompany a failing invasion team, the Keroro Platoon, she was informed that there were only male members and no female ones that go by the name, Pururu. What kind of name was Pururu anyways? Pururu, it sounded like puke.

Falling over a rock she collapsed on a rock. Who was she kidding? Pururu sounded like pretty more than anything else. The name was totally adorable, but the name Tajiji sounded more like Tom. Tom is a boy name!

Writhing in pain on the ground, she groaned loudly to herself, "Her name is pretty, but my name is Tom. This is so unfair." Closing her eyes she heard the sound of crunching leaves under someone's foot. She couldn't bear to open her eye lids, she was way too exhausted. The last thing she remembered was a firm set of arms surrounding her and picking her up, before she completely blacked out.


	5. Tables and Questions

Tajiji woke up abruptly chained on a steel, cold table. Trying to kick and lift up her arms, she made no progress. _What the hell, _she thought, terrified. Lifting her head up as much as she could, she realized immediately where she was, Kururu's lab. She wanted to scream out in fright. Instead she stayed silent; she knew the walls were sound proof, so there was really no point.

Then, she heard a loud, a monotonous laugh echo through the room. Kururu walked up to her table, a gleam flashed across her glasses. "Well, Staff Sergeant Tajiji, what are you doing in here?" He circled the table once and stopped at the side of her head, so that when she turned her head, all she saw was his waist.

She turned her head, so that it was directed towards the ceiling, she didn't want to look at him, she closed her eyes. "What do you have planned for me, Sergeant Major Kururu?" Even though she tried to sound strong and unafraid, her voice still shook; resulting in the sadistic, yellow Keronian in laughing at her.

"I wanted to ask you a question."

Tajiji just stared. _He's got to be kidding, _she thought incredulously. _He had to chain me down to a table just to ask a question? _"Well, if it's this important, then go on, I'd like to leave."

"Kukuku, you've made this much easier on yourself Tajiji." He smiled, evilly. "So, the question rises. On the first day you joined the Keroro Platoon you did a description of all members."

"All, but you," Tajiji interrupted and received a dark look from Kururu.

"Don't interrupt me, but yes, the question is, what kind of dirt do you have on me?"

"Well," Tajiji paused. "You're an intelligence officer, not many people like you, you befriended a Pekoponian."

Kururu raised a finger, "Everyone knows that, inform me with something leader wouldn't know. Or are you just all talk?"

"Things Keroro Gunsou wouldn't know?" She readjusted herself , "As a child, you were constantly bullied for having the highest standing intellect of your class, you find fun in playing sadistic games on people, but not Mois Angol, because you have some unknown feelings for her, that are so brutally obvious, but no one seems to notice them, including her, which is strange, you've loved curry since a child, but your true love for it started when Keroro, Dororo, Giroro, and Pururu buried you in a giant platter of it, and FYI, they still don't know it's you who black mailed them into giving you a giant _life time supply_, also, you cheated your way to this position, because the Keron Army would have NEVER let you in if you didn't completely erase your back ground, so all those _accidents _that happen to you as a child wouldn't surface, and finally your whole family is deceased, other than your brother and sister," Tajiji opened her eyes and turned to Kururu, a look of pain plain on her face. "Is that good enough?"

Kururu smiled, "Very good Staff Sergeant." He moved to his chair and sat down in front of his monitor, legs crossed, Tajiji could hear the typing of a key board.

"Hey!" She shouted, trying to jerk free of her restraints. "We made a deal, let me free!"

"I lost the key."

Tajiji groaned and looked around the room, she couldn't see it. There was no point in arguing with him, he always found away to sound like he was right. Twitching her back slightly, she felt something prod it. Wiggling again and again, she realized that she was lying on the key. "Well, that's just perfect." She growled.

"Kukuku, I take it you found the key?" She heard Kururu call out through his lab.

"Oh yeah," Tajiji growled and closed her eyes_, It's not like he would ever help me._ _Wait a minute, _She recalled._ In the forest I remember blacking out and someone picking me up. Could that have been Kururu? No, he wouldn't have done that for me, or would he? How else would I have gotten in here? He helped me? _She cleared her throat, "Thanks for helping me back there, Kururu."

Silence followed. Then, she heard the light sound of footsteps and Kururu appeared next to her, holding a stool in one hand and a weird ray gun in the other. Placing down the stool and climbing on it he jumped onto the table, on top of Tajiji. She turned a bright red as his knees painfully dug into her rib cage, but proceeded to stay quiet. Directing the gun at her chest, he pulled the trigger and her stomach turned transparent, reaching in, he grabbed the key from the table and laughed showing her the yellow key with the numbers _966 _written across it, but as he did so, Keroro walked to the room, his face a bright, bright red.

"Kururu," He shouted, pointing a finger, accusingly. "What are you doing to our newest recruit?" Kururu and Tajiji remained quiet, as Kururu unlocked her hands and moved down to her feet and unlocked them also. After, crawling off her, she rolled her eyes at Kururu and ran to Keroro.

"Kururu," Tajiji's voice had a hint of laughter in her voice. "Lay off the curry."

"I've loved curry since a child, but my true love for it started when Keroro, Dororo, Giroro, and Pururu buried me in a giant platter of it, and FYI, they still don't know it's I who black mailed them into giving me a giant _life time supply." _He mimicked, and then he turned around to look at her, smiling wickedly. "And your welcome, Staff Sergeant, but don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to live up to." Keroro looked at the two confusedly, before grabbing Tajiji by the arm and taking her out of Kururu's lair, bombarding her with a series of questions, questions that she had no intention in answering.

_**Guys, it's been a while, hasn't it? Don't judge this chapter I've had a major righting block lately. So, don't be hating on me. **_


	6. Who is that?

Kururu gripped the edge of his desk, his glasses cracking through the middle, gritting his teeth; he pounded his clenched fists into his key board. All the work he's done over the years, this stupid new recruit is going to ruin it all for him. How did she know everything? The curry accident, his dead family, and the fact that he was bullied was obvious, Intel could have had all of those facts in his profile, he didn't care if people knew about that, but the bit she said about him having feelings for Lady Mois. How could she ever have guessed? How could she have ever known? Readjusting himself in his chair, Kururu massaged his knuckles for a moment, before extending his fingers over the keyboard. He had to find more information about this Tajiji character, nobody's perfect, definitely not her. He closed his eyes remembering the episode in the forest, Tajiji running rapid into trees murmuring nurse Pururu's name over and over. He smiled; _let's hope our little Staff Sergeant left me a bread crumb trail leading me back home. _

Tamama, Keroro, Fuyuki, and Tajiji sat in front of the television, watching Space Captain Geroro. Tamama stretched out in front of the couch, several bags of potato chips lay across his stomach, Keroro held a plate of several star fruit, Fuyuki sat back, texting Momoka, who had a hidden squad of secret soldiers sitting outside, constantly reporting back to Momoka exactly what Fuyuki was doing, and Tajiji sat at the edge of her seat, eyes wide open and filled with awe, constantly muttering to herself things like, "How is a Pekoponian show this amazing? How do Pekoponians come up with this? Those Pekoponians need to come to Keron to show our animators a few things, I wonder if HQ will clear it if I asked to send some Pekoponian animators to planet fifty-eight?" Other than Tajiji and the light sound of the _crunch, crunch, crunch _of Tamama's chips, the show was the only sound in the small room.

Keroro placed a star fruit in his mouth and tried to hide the random smile on his face, he really enjoyed the company of his platoon's newest member and when he first introduced her to Fuyuki a few hours earlier it went perfect, of course he bombarded her with a series of questions and will remain to be the main topic of his occult meeting for the next few months, which Momoka probably won't be too happy with since Tajiji is a female, but the feelings will die down, eventually. Natsumi was the complete opposite of Fuyuki, she gave one look at Tajiji, got introductions down, picked her up, and carrying her off to her room, Keroro still doesn't know what Natsumi did to the Keronian. Keroro heard that Koyuki had met Tajiji, but he wasn't sure what really happened, Saburo wasn't much of a talker when he met the new recruit, he was on his way to meet up with Kururu and wasn't even aware she had even inhabited the Hinata home, Saburo smiled, patted her on the head, and walked away to Kururu's lab. _Tajiji seems nice enough, Keroro_ thought to himself happily, turning his attention back to the show.

Dororo sat at a far away springs, meditating. Eyes closed and focusing on inner peace, he listened to the falling water, smiling. It was nice getting away from it all. Opening his eyes, steadily, he watched swimming fish, hopping frogs, buzzing bees, and flying UFOs. Dororo's eyes widened instantly, _UFOs? Is that a Keron ship? It's not head quarters, not Giroro's brother, not Chiroro or Karara. _Standing up quickly, knocking a cup of tea out of his lap he had forgotten he placed there, he quickly surveyed the area, before heading towards the Hinata residence. Running through the forest, dodging tall trees, Dororo was terrified. Finally standing in front of the back door of the Hinata house, he inhaled a deep breath before sliding the door open and walking in. "Keroro-kun, we have a major problem."

Kururu continued to surf his computer in an attempt to find more information on Tajiji, for the most part, his attempts were absolutely futile. It seemed like there wasn't a Keronian named _Tajiji _anywhere on the internet, no Facebook, no yearbook, no Google searches, no email, no nothing. The only information he was able to get on her was the information the Head Quarters sent him. "There is one last thing I forgot to check._" _Kururu thought to himself out loud. His eyes lit up, clicking on a file deep in Head Quarters information database. "Oh Tajiji," He smiled maliciously, watching document after document appear on the screen. "I found you." Printing out the entire file, he spun around in his chair before jumping up and grabbing the fresh, warm stack of papers out of the printer. He ran out of his lab and down the hall landing in the living room. "Leader, I think you might want to see this." Kururu raised a suspicious eyebrow at the worried Dororo. _What is he doing here? _

Keroro looked both ways viewing Kururu and Dororo. As leader, it was his job to "take charge". This made him laugh. Take charge? He had absolutely no control of his six member platoon and honestly, he liked it that way. If he wasn't in charge and all of his members did their own things, which made everyone, including him, happier. When Keroro actually had to play the leader role is when everything went crazy.

Raising his tiny stump arms trying to calm down the lance corporal and sergeant major, Keroro didn't notice the pale Tajiji staring at Kururu from the couch. Tajiji was rocking back and forth, and then she fell, but that didn't catch the platoon's attention. What caught the five other Keronians and one Pekoponian's eye was the fact that she didn't hit the ground she phased right through it, disappearing through the wood paneled floor.

_Sorry about this chapter, I've had writers block. Also, thanks everyone for the great ideas I'll try to work them all in haha._


End file.
